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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, we head to the café on Agias Varvaras Street. I’m tryin’ to chill, but the coffee’s takin’ forever. I’m like, “C’mon, I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I take a sip, and boom! It’s like a hug in a mug. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a coffee monster.

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